Interesting poem,
Throughout the whole thing I saw only 1 comma. Only 1!?! You need a lot more punctuation in it, but luckily your flow is ok. Also, you don't seem to have any emotion in it. It seems like you're dancing around a pot of emotion but never dipping in and putting some into this poem. Try adding some feeling to this!
Other than all that ^ you're fine
Keep writing,
Alzora
Points: 2218
Reviews: 297
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